Finding out you’re going to have a new little one to add to your family is exciting! In four years, we had three daughters, and each time we found out the baby’s gender, my husband and I were thrilled. Like most parents, we really didn’t have any gender expectations at all, and just hoped for healthy pregnancies. Not everyone felt the same way. One family member even cried from disappointment that our third girl was not a boy...?
Fast forward four years, and we found ourselves expecting again. Yay! This time our girls were four, six, and eight, and we wanted to find out the gender together as a family. We knew this could be a fun experience for them to look back on. We had a friend fill stainless steel water bottles with pink or blue paint, and our girls got to squirt my husband and I in our white shirts.
We would have been happy whether it had been pink or blue, but we were completely surprised when the paint was blue. We were excited to add a boy to our family! However, here are three things people have said to us regarding our children’s gender that are simply not true.
You Finally got Your Boy!
No. He is not the "chosen one" we have been waiting for. We are overjoyed by our three girls and their existence. They were not a catalyst to getting our boy. This statement implies that each time we had a girl, we were hoping for a boy. We truly would be happy with four girls, or boys. We really are just thankful for our four children, regardless of their gender.
Poor Daddy With All Those Girls
What message are you trying to get across? This implies that my girls are difficult people who we must “put up with.” I wish my girls never had to hear statements like this. Having three girls (or boys) is a blessing, not something to be pitied.
You Must Be Done Having Kids Now, right?
There’s often this belief that once you have a boy and a girl, you are probably done having kids. Sometimes it is said to me that now that we “finally have our boy” we are “done now, right?” Perhaps the intentions are good, but the amount of kids I have isn’t directly correlated to their genders. If my husband and I choose not to have any more children, not only will it be a personal decision that won’t be discussed with the general public, but it most certainly will not be because we “finally had a boy.”
Each of my children are special and I’m so thankful for each of them. It’s important for people to be aware of the impact their words may have on someone’s child, and to be especially cautious when commenting about gender. When in doubt, a simple “Congratulations!” is almost always enough.
Wendy is a breastfeeding and baby wearing mom to four children in central Illinois, where she blogs at TheMessyMom.net.