I am writing this blog because I need it.
I need someone to tell me that someone out there will want to be friends with me and my crazy tribe of little ones.
You see, I recently relocated to a different part of the country with my family. The last time we moved, we had a newborn. This time around, we have two toddlers and a newborn, and I am convinced it’s easier to make friends when you have a baby. Toddlers can scare potential friends. And let’s face it. It’s not easy making mom friends in general. But how do you achieve new friendships when you’re a hot-mess mom?
Have courage and be kind.
Yes. This is the quote from “Cinderella,” but it’s so true. You have to put yourself out there to make friends when you’re a mom. Go to the library. Hang out where other moms hang out. For me, this meant signing up my daughter for soccer. Yes it was out of our comfort zone and we didn’t know anyone, but we needed it. We needed a chance to meet other moms and kids, too. Soccer season is long over and we have two new friends each! Look up a local moms group. For me, this has been MOPS, or Mothers of Preschoolers. This organization has saved my sanity and brought me some of my closest friends through my mom years.
As for being kind, remember there is always someone who may need you, too. When I take my kids to play at the play land, I often feel lonely or wish for a friend. There are often other moms alone there, too. I try to remind myself that some of those ladies may need me as much or even more than I need a friend. Be kind. Introduce yourself. Make general conversation. Just be a nice person. You never know who needs a friend.
Don’t be too hard on yourself.
It’s easy to get caught up in the mom-comparison game. Remember you are the perfect mom for your kids. Sure, your kids may eat French fries in the car and cookies before their dinner sometimes, but you are doing the best you can. While it is hard, we have to remember to give ourselves some credit for how great we really are.
Embrace your crazy.
Yes, toddlers are not easy. Yes, you may make a scene. Just today I made quite the scene at Old Navy. I’m not sure we will be back there in a while. Just remember that your kids are part of the package deal. If someone doesn’t want to be friends with you because your 2-year-old is loud or your 3–year-old throws tantrums, then move on. Toddlers are tiny humans who need love and support from their moms. The truest of friends will love you and your kids, no matter how crazy you may think your life is.
So remember mom, you are a great person. You are a great friend. You are a great mom, no matter what your toddler does or says today. There’s always tomorrow and there is always your mom.
Karyn Meyerhoff is a mom of 3 in Arkansas where she regularly stays home as a hermit because of her crazy kids and self.