When my first baby was born, I didn’t really have any other Mommy friends. We hadn’t lived in that area for long, and it takes some time and effort to find your tribe.
When my daughter was about six months old, I decided to sign her up for a Mommy and Me swimming class at the local YMCA. I decided to push through my insecurities and make some mommy friends at swim class. After all, we would all have babies who were similar ages. Making friends should be easy, right?
Except when we got to the first class, we found out that all the other babies would be swimming with their daddies. My master plan had failed. Making Mom friends can be difficult. Here are three things to remember when you start the process of Mom Dating.
It’s Ok to Make the First Move
You find yourself at the park, and you see another mom pushing her little one on the swings. Your toddlers look like they are similar in age, and you’d love to talk to someone about your potty training struggles. Go ahead and push your daughter in the swing next to her and start up a conversation. Chances are, she is looking for a friend too!
Sometimes You’ll Strike Out
So you’ve started up a conversation, but it bombed. Maybe she didn’t seem interested in getting to know you, or she just wasn’t easy to talk to. That’s ok! Not every mom is going to be “the one.” Keep in mind that people have different levels of comfort meeting strangers depending on where you live, too. Stay in the game! You’ll find your people soon enough.
Time to Go All the Way
Once you’ve found a friend or two (or three) that you feel comfortable with, you’ll start to let your guard down. After a few play dates in public places, you’ll start inviting each other to your homes. Before you know it, you’ll be at a girls’ night out without your kids! That’s how you’ll know you’ve found your people, when you have fun together sans children.
Whether you’re at the park, the Y, a toddler dance class, or church, don’t be afraid to strike up a conversation with another Mom. You know those feelings of loneliness and isolation? Chances are, she feels them too. They say it takes a village, and they are right. Don’t give up! You’ll soon find the perfect mom friends to do life with.
Wendy is a breastfeeding, baby wearing mom of four in central Illinois where she blogs at TheMessyMom.net.